Can’t find my way home :: random jottings on the way to an idea

AM000000100000000630 15: 2012 § 1 Comment

… in which I start by going back to a work that I composed almost ten years ago

From 1995 until 1998 I was variously in rehab, homeless & in sheltered accommodation. In 1998 I moved into a council garden flat. All my personal possessions were held in a plastic rubbish bag. One of the first photographic essays I created was to lay out some of the bag contents and make graphic arrangements of them. Some of the items are bizarre accompaniments to setting up a new home—who’d be without a turntable stylus brush?

Unearthing.

➝    began by going back to a series that looks conventionally at a remembrance/representation of home

➝    created almost ten years after the time from which it arose

➝    continued by listing contents of my life from which a definition/idea of home emerged

➝    the first was the influence of religion/belief in my life

➝    background of moving home after war ➝ kensington gardens

➝    words like acceptance, acknowledgment, anticipation, certainty apply

:: Methodist Chapel, Chapel Street, Luton

➝    the choir

:: Elms Hall, Great Elms Road, Bromley

➝    bible study

:: Metropolitan Cathedral, Brownlow Hill, Liverpool

➝    peace on a Friday afternoon after a week teaching

➝    reading reflected the religious motifs; responsibilities of the individual for self-acknowledgement & self-action

:: Search The Scriptures
:: The Outsider
:: Roads To Freedom

➝    beliefs & the holy book changed but the theme remained similar

➝    seeking of something in which one found certainties, patterns, expectations, comradeship, belonging, acceptance

➝    contrasts with growing up & relations with my mother

➝    history of my mother and father & my early years

:: Revolution & Class Struggle
:: Main Currents of Marxism
:: Marxism and Christianity
:: The Wretched of the Earth

➝    by 1995 I was variously in a rehab, homeless & in sheltered accommodation

➝    the sequence of events arriving at this state is not to be regretted

➝    the books changed again but the personal project stayed on course

:: Creative Vizualization
:: Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway
:: The Artist’s Way

➝    I came in through the front door of the self-help movement with energy & self-certainty

➝    nothing was beyond my compass

➝    the place of study, contemplation, practical action within the world was a cornerstone of a belief that comforted, gave purpose, provided security

:: June 15th 1998

➝    reward

➝    “Will you do a day’s supply teaching?”

➝    a return to teaching

➝    a gesture of acknowledgement & recognition from outside myself

➝    adding a symmetry within my life [profession] [creativity]

➝    cf. growing-up within the 1950s remnants of the pre-war class boundaries

:: September 10th 2001

➝    diagnosed with throat cancer

➝    time to change the direction of my life

➝    retired & concentrated on photography, making art, writing, building a garden, moving away from ‘home’

➝    but there remained attachments

:: Witcomb Cycles

➝    Tanners Hill circa 1955

:: Romney Marsh

➝    holidays circa 19554

:: Berlin

➝    2003

➝   no connection whatsoever

➝    fear of travelling

➝    fear of loss upon return

:: revelation

‘Home’ as mystery, deception, acting, discovery

:: avoidance

‘Home’ as fortress

:: redemption

‘Home’ as  base camp

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§ One Response to Can’t find my way home :: random jottings on the way to an idea

  • nickscammell says:

    Yup, ‘left’ really needs two Ts! Leftt. And a Jekyll and Hyde Shirt?!

    btw, if participants click ‘follow’ at the top left of the screen, they can be sure never to miss the arrival of a new post to this blog…

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